Introductions & Conclusions

October 20, 2009 Blog
WRITING INTRODUCTIONS
What do we expect to find?
- Background
- Context
- Significance -Why should we care?
- Thesis
- Rationale
- Expanded message statement
- Methods
- Objectives
- Scope
Need to explain where this work fits in with the larger world, i.e. what gap are we filling? This may be addressed in the context, significance and scope.
How do objectives and rationale differ? Objective is “what” and rationale is “why.”
Cuyama Group Project Intro – Discussion/analysis
As a group we found the Intro too short and didn’t address the problem statement sufficiently. There is plenty of background and context, but not a lot of rationale, methods or objectives.
Need to be aware of tense – any tense can be used, but it needs to be consistent.
“It is anticipated” – don’t use! It’s ok to use “we,” and it is commonly accepted to use “we”.
The Zurich Project
The report’s entire first chapter addresses all the parts of the introduction with subheadings, making the structure very clear.
Cuyama Brief
The intro was better, but there was still no clear problem statement.
Fisheries Brief
Very clear problem statement. But the spacing was distracting. The sentence structure consists of long lists. The language is too technical, too many buzz words. We are not sure who the audience is supposed to be - it seems like it should be a lay audience.
“distancing yourself from a claim” – tends to happen when you’re not certain of the claim you’re making, or if you have the authority to make that claim. It results in a lack of clarity.
Short sentences can be really powerful, and sentence variation is important.
Also, the intro doesn’t seem to address all the issues up front, more detailed reading is required.

GP Presentation
One way to structure our presentations for both audiences (the defense ande public presentation) is to ask a question.
How can we make fishery management better?
Why are fisheries failing?
(Cuyama) – How does human land use impact connectivity and conservation?

EDF’s Fisheries Brief
Intro paragraph – includes numbers and stats. This is not objective, it’s presenting an opinion, but once you have your data you can take a stance. It answers: who, what, when where how why more or less. No specific problem statement, but we know what the problem is.

WRITING CONCLUSIONS
Conclusions are really important because often it’s all people read.
What does the reader look for?
- The point
- Results
- Significance/implications – this often gets left out! (so what? And make it sexy!)
- Recommendations
- Call to action
- Future direction/further research
- Address the “promises you made” in the intro (e.g. how to fix a problem)

NB – don’t bring up new ideas that you haven’t addressed throughout the paper
Cuyama conclusion
We found the bold, bulleted points to be an ineffective way of communicating their results
The term “general statements” doesn’t demonstrate confidence
A brief intro to the conclusion would be appropriate.
The 4 general statements they found were an accomplishment, but their framing of the points could be stronger. Perhaps they could have bolded their recommendations that follow from the findings.
Demonstrate features and benefits when you’re writing (think of the “so what” when you’re selling).
We could have written: “Loss of riparian habitat will continue to occur if there is further development”
or, “Active restoration is needed to preserve XYZ.”


-Amelia Nuding